...But this is my Papi...

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance between Us: A Memoir. (pp. 6-7). New York, NY: Washington Square Press.
The first thing to catch my attention in "The Distance Between Us" was not at all what I expected, and it happened much earlier than I expected. When four year old Reyna is begging her mother not to leave her she also asks her mother why she is taking he picture of her father. Reyna mentions that when she was two years old her father left and went to "El Toro Lado" - the Other Side. She has no real memories of her father - only the picture that her mother is taking with her. When her mother tells her that her grandmother (whom she will be staying with) has plenty of pictures of her father her response is shocking. She says, "But this is my Papi." Reyna had no real memories of her father and she had only ever seen the one photo of him. Because of this, she was convinced that the actual photo was her father. This was her only real connection with her father. This statement took me back and really hurt me deep down. To think that before she was probably even old enough to realize it El Toro Lado had already scarred this poor little girl.
When I read this I tried to put myself in Reyna's shoes - what does she think of her father? Does she fully understand what he is doing or where he has gone? It is easy for us to look at the situation and see what he is trying to do and that what he is doing as far as we know at this point is for the good of the ones he loves. But does Reyna see that his intent is to make a better life for her and her family? All Reyna probably knows is that her father is not there. He hasn't been - at least not that she can remember. I think Reyna also sees a little bit of what it has done to her mother who remains faithful and hopeful that he will one day be back for them. The only thing I see that Reyna knows for certain is that her father is not there and now her mother will not be there. Her view of El Otro Lado - the Other Side - is probably a very tainted and scary one at this point in her life. To Reyna it takes things away It takes people away. Not many people in our culture have to grow up under the circumstances we see Reyna dealing with as a 4 year old.