Crecimiento personal de la vida (Personal Growth from Life)

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance between Us: A Memoir. New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

It is not every day that a book comes along and impacts your life or your perception but this book has for me. From the first page of the book we are given an image of a young girl living in Mexico who is not self-assured, who was abandoned and who has not found their voice yet. As the story progresses, the young girl grows up and begins to find her strength and courage. By the end of the book, we see the young girl’s journey come to an end, and now she is a strong, confident woman who worked hard to be where she is. This truly inspirational story paints the picture of diversity and the journey of life that everyone must take. Not everyone’s path will take them on the same road, but there will be defining moments like the ones in Reyna’s life and these moments will allow you to shape your life in the way you would like to go.

As I sit here and reflect on the book as a whole, I imagine what my defining moments are. These defining moments may be small or large and may not be as noticeable right now. I look at the first defining moment I ever had, when my father died, and at the time, that moment did not look like something that would cause me personal growth but after the pain, I realized that this moment would allow me to have empathy and compassion and the willingness to help people in a world that just seems so negative. My first defining moment was large and sad, but this affected my life and made me who I am today. Just like the first defining moment that Reyna shares great detail about affected her life. She was left handed and was always told to write right handed because left handedness was of the devil. When she finally decides that she will be herself instead and write left handed no matter what, we see a dramatic difference in her life that would carry over into her life in El Otro Lado.

The overall, book was wonderful and was touching and if allowed, it will change your way of thinking. The book shares personal details of Reyna’s life and allows us to see first-hand a snapshot of what immigrants go through in their everyday life. It also shows how one moment in your life can shape you and turn you into something great and how you may not realize the affect yet, but one day you will look back and see how important that moment was in your life. With that being said, I recommend you read this inspirational book and take a look at your life and see if you can find a defining moment that has shaped who you are.

My Rating: *****

La vida en el otro lado (Life on the Other Side)

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance between Us: A Memoir. (pp. 160-322). New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

My expectation: In this final section of the book, my expectation was to witness Reyna’s personal growth as she experienced America and the cultures within this new country as she tries to succeed and make her way to bigger and better things. Additionally, it was my expectation that, I, as the reader, would learn more about the differing cultures and how it can be difficult for immigrants to not only leave behind everything they have ever known to come to a new country but also to see how they view society and what life is like for them once they reach America.

This final section of The Distance Between Us lived up to expectation. The section was all about Reyna and her family’s journey in America as they fought to succeed. In this section, we see the hardship that is faced when Reyna’s father’s sister steals the house that Reyna’s father paid for and how this act broke him to the point that he basically gave up on everything. Then we see how Reyna, even after this, pushes forward and continues to succeed and works her hardest to be who she wants to be. As we proceed through the rest of this section, we see that Reyna’s father is very sick and at the close of the book she makes some of the most profound statements in the book. On page 322, as Reyna begins to discuss her father’s condition of needing dialysis and she progresses towards her father’s ultimate ending, she makes some realizations. She states that her father needed her company and conversation and the overarching thing he needed was her forgiveness. The most profound thing that she states brings the book to a close:

The day before my thirty-sixth birthday, I found myself at my father’s hospital bed as his life support was turned off. As I held my father’s hand, and my life with him flashed through my mind, I thought about that question that I had always asked myself: If I had known what life with my father would be like, would I have still followed him to El Otro Lado?

You made me who I am, I thought as he took his last breath. And I knew then that the answer to my question was yes.

This final statement, in my opinion, was a general and specific statement. The specific side of the statement lies in relation to her father. Although life in Mexico and in America was hard, Reyna worked hard at both and because of everything that she went through with her father and coming with him to America, it made her who she would inevitably become. The general statement here lies in relation to America and Mexico. Throughout this entire book, we follow the personal and intellectual growth of a girl who lived in Mexico and then migrated to America. This final statement could be interpreted as a closing statement of acknowledgement of how her journey in Mexico then to America, and within America shaped the person who she would become.

Although the book concludes on a somber ending with a conclusion statement that can be left up to interpretation, this final section is meant as an enlightenment section. Instead of complaining about her father’s death and how depressing it was, she decides to give her readers the closure that she received after contemplating her life. This final page offers great insight into her personal feelings and overall growth throughout her journey and allows the reader to see her attempt at saying that we need to evaluate our lives and see that everywhere we have been and everything we have been through has shaped our lives and no matter what happens, it will always be worth it in the end.

"I'd never seen such a healthy looking baby."

Grande, R. 2012. The Distance Between Us: A Memoir. (pp.69-72) New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

Reyna and her siblings had gone to the well to get some water for the house.  It is just normal day. The three of them are discussing their plans for later that evening with Tia Emperatriz.  As they arrive at the house Reyna notices a woman standing there.  The woman is holding a baby in her hands.  It finally hits Reyna - the woman is her mother.  Seeing her mother confused Reyna, but mostly because of the baby in her hands.  This was Reyna's sister.  She had heard of her, but never before had she seen her.  Yet another moment that Reyna will never forget.  Her first thought about the baby was "This little girl must have a lot of good food to eat, wherever she lives."   
Immediately Reyna notices a difference in her and her little sister.  These differences that Reyna sees are not a result of genetics.  They are a result of an upbringing - a lifestyle.  Reyna and her new little sister Elizabeth had the same parents, the same blood, but they had a completely different start, and Reyna noticed this.  I think Reyna was hurt by this.  Why couldn't she have had that chance?  Elizabeth will never know what it has been like for Reyna and her other two siblings.  She will never have to experience even the walk back from the well that Reyna just got back from.

While I think Reyna is somewhat hurt by the possible thought of this, we see that she takes comfort in being re-united with her mother.  As she carefully goes to hug her mother memories flood her mind.  Memories of who her mother was that she had seemed to have forgotten somewhere along the way.  But Reyna didn't only see these memories.  She saw a completely different future.  One without carrying water from wells.  One without being scolded by her grandmother.  One without sleeping in a room that smelt of beer, sweat, and cigarettes.  She was a future with her mother.  One with her father.  Her two older siblings and her new youngest sibling.  She saw a future with a brick house and a bedroom.  She was a future that was made passible by "El Otro Lado."

Where Would You Be?

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance Between Us: A Memoir. New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

Reyna's childhood had a major impact on her life. Growing up in Iguala, she faced the worst circumstances any child could have ever been faced with. The things she went through while growing up helped shape her into the person she is today. All the neglect, poverty, and struggles she faced she gives credit as to the things that helped shape her character. We've all faced certain circumstances where we wonder how it changed us as a person. Every thing we have come in contact with has played some role in shaping us into the person we are today. Seeing what she went through and how she is now makes me think about my life and how I would be if things would have turned out differently from situation to situation.

 

Tough Love

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance Between Us: A Memoir. New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

Throughout the memoir, Reyna discusses the abuse they received from her father.  Many times she would talk about the times her father would go into a rage because of alcoholism. There were times where she tried to see how his life growing up made him the person he was and that she kept trying to forgive him for the things he would do to her and her siblings. Because of this attitude though, she was shaped into the person she became. She became a legal citizen and escaped that life of poverty and abuse. 

So many families suffer this same abuse, especially those in poverty. I've heard so many stories of people growing up getting beat by their father who are on an alcoholic rampage and everyday coming home from school they wouldn't know if they were going to get beat or not. Looking at where they are now, they've made huge successes of themselves and bettered their lives. I believe part of this is because they don't want to ever go through that pain of not knowing what they would come home to whether it's physical abuse, a financial situation, or any other factors. It's like Reyna was almost bringing up the point that if her father wouldn't have treated them the way he did, she may not be the person she is today. Sometimes tough love is what shapes a person to be the absolute best they can be. 

Where are we off to today?

Grande, R. 2012. The Distance Between Us: A Memoir. (pp.31) New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

At the beginning of chapter four we finally see what I would consider a happy moment.  Reyna, Carlos, and Mago went to the vacant lot down the road where there was a car they would play in.  Reyna mentions that she likes to believe her Papi use to come out here and play as a kid.  I think it is neat to see Reyna thinking of her father in this light.  Carlos, Reyna's brother, asked Reyna where they we going to today.  Her response was, "El Otro Lado!"  

Reyna is envisioning herself and her siblings going to be with their parents.  This is where her imagination is taking her.  It is taking her to a hopeful place where she is reunited with her mother and father.  I like to imagine that Reyna imagines that they have a house - one made of bricks like her mother tells her about.  They are all sitting on their couch cuddled up watching tv.  The kids are dosing off and their mom tells them to go to their rooms for bed.  Rooms.  They each have their own room.  Reyna wonders what that could even be like.  The thought makes her so happy.  It is wonderful to see the joy that Reyna is able to find through everything she is going through.

Facing Adversity

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance Between Us: A Memoir. New York, NY: Washington Square Press. 

Throughout this book, we are opened into the life of poverty from the veryhcorpions crawling on the wall, it pits it in perspective of how blessed we are to be in the situation we are in right now. Reading everything they had to go through really made me think about lucky we are and all the things we take for granted. It's so easy for us to take the small things in life like a shower, coke, candy bar, things like that and just go grab one when we want it. This family had to sacrifice time with their family so that way they could have the absolute necessities. Not only did they have to sacrifice time with each other, but they were faced with discrimination in the classroom and physical abuse when they come home to their father. Being able to have a safe place to sleep when we come home and able to communicate with others without the aid of a translator is truly a blessing that not everyone gets to receive everyday and the seer determination of this family really impacts me.  

Assumptions & Perceptions

Grande, R. 2012. The Distance Between Us: A Memoir. (pp.16-17) New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

Reyna and her siblings were already dealing with so much.  We are introduced to their living conditions early on and told about how their living conditions were with their grandparents.  They are sleeping in the corner of their grandfathers room which is described to smell like sweat, beer, and cigarette smoke.  Reyna recalls a day that was about a month after her mother had left.  She and Mago were walking past a bakers house when they got a whiff of the beard.  When the lady inside that was baking saw them she turned to her husband and said, "Miralas pobrecitas huerfanitas."  We are not directly told what this means, but Reyna gives us her response in english - "We aren't orphans!"  Reyna says that she grabbed a rock to throw at her but thought about what her mother would do if she knew and she changed her mind.
I think that far too often we assume things about people when we see them.  Was it safe for the woman to assume the kids were orphans?  Yes - however, that was not the case.  Our assumptions lead to perceptions of everyone we come into contact with and these assumptions are not always the truth - just like in this case with Reyna and her sibling.  This woman's assumptions hurt Reyna.  The odds are that this woman didn't even think twice about saying this.  She probably doesn't even remember saying it.  But Reyna does.  This comment stuck with Reyna until and will stick with her well past the moment she wrote this book.  This comment shaped the way Reyna viewed herself and how she thought every other person viewed her.
I think it is even easier for us to make assumptions about people who look "different" from us.  This is partly because of the stereotypes that our society has cast on every race, but I believe it is up to us as individuals to decide to stop and make a difference.  Even thinking about small comments like the one that the lady  made at Reyna can make a huge difference.

Iguala

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance between Us: A Memoir. New York, NY: Washington Square Press.


The final theme in this book is how Iguala appeared in Reyna’s eyes. To Reyna, Iguala was basically hell on earth. As previously mentioned, she was forced to live with her grandmothers when both of her parents left to go to the United States. Reyna and her two siblings were both neglected, abused, and mistreated by their grandmothers for eight long years before their parents came to take them to America. One example of this was if Reyna did not show up at home in time, her grandmothers would beat her severely. During this time, Reyna received a poor education from Mexican schools. She also was made to do hard labor at some points. All of this while being a young girl. It is certain that Reyna’s life in Mexico, the experiences and hardships that she went through as a child played a major role in her life.

Finalmente en el otro lado (Finally on the Other Side)

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance between Us: A Memoir. (pp. 55-159). New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

My expectation for this section of the book was to continue to learn more about Reyna’s life in Mexico and the ideas that she had about El Otro Lado. Furthermore, it was my expectation that she would finally make her way to the US and quite possibly reunite with her family in this section.

Reyna’s mother finally returns to the story but because of some circumstances she only visits her children once a week. The structure of this section outlines more in depth the life of Reyna in Mexico and what it was like to have her mother back in Mexico with her. At the end of the section right before part two of the book, we finally see her father come back. He takes them across the border and into the US.

One of the most telling section of this book is on pages 158 and 159. In these pages there is a great amount of detail about the differences between the US and Mexican culture. When Reyna’s father mentioned hamburgers as they were being smuggled home, Reyna thinks to herself that she had never eaten a hamburger but she knew that that is what people in America liked to eat (pp. 158). In addition, at the sight of seeing the smuggler eating sunflower seeds, her first reaction was that she couldn’t believe that in the richest country in the world people eat bird seed (pp. 159).

Overall, this section of the book lives up to expectations. This part further develops the main character’s personally growth and teaches her about some of the culture in the US. Just from the two pages mentioned previously, she has already seen some of the differences between life in Mexico and life in the US and I expect that as Reyna continues her story, she will continue to make personal growth in the US and will learn more about this new place that she will call home.

The Ultimate Sacrifice

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance Between Us: A Memoir. (pp.6-7). New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

Reyna Grande was a four year old girl living in poverty stricken Mexico. She lived with her mother and siblings before her mother left them behind in Mexico to go make a better living in the U.S. with her father who was already in the U.S. When Reyna's mother left them, they were left under the care of their grandparents who did not provide them with the care they needed.

In today's society and in American culture, you still hear of parents leaving behind their children to go off and help make a better living to provide for their family. This is exactly what we see Reyna's parents doing. The U.S. has always been known as a place of opportunity. If you set your mind on achieving a goal, you'll be successful, and this is what we see Reyna's parents trying to do for their family. What astounds me is the willingness of Reyna's mom to leave her children behind and go to another country she might not have been able to get in to just to help provide a better life for her children. I know when I'm a parent, I want what is going to be the absolute best for my children no matter what, but I would also want them under my guidance and protection. Seeing what Reyna's mom did gives us a new perspective as to the sacrifices some have to make in order to help sustain and provide for their family.

Drama in ESL class

Grande, R. (2013).   The distance between us. New York: Washington Square Press. p. 245-249

I liked this chapter because it adds teenage angst into a story that has serious subject matter. Reyna deals with first love, cliques, friendship turmoil, and Papi's discipline. I was shocked because I really thought that Luis would be a better guy, but his betrayal of Reyna seemed to show otherwise. However, I'm still wondering if their was some reasoning behind his ignoring her, or if he was just using her. Reyna is yet again abandoned by all those who she could find connections with. The only ones who seem to support her are her siblings. Despite the turmoil in her life, I find myself falling in love with Reyna's character as she is very strong and has a dry humor. The best part is that she is a real person and this is her story. I would love to meet her in person.  

...But this is my Papi...

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance between Us: A Memoir. (pp. 6-7). New York, NY: Washington Square Press.
The first thing to catch my attention in "The Distance Between Us" was not at all what I expected, and it happened much earlier than I expected. When four year old Reyna is begging her mother not to leave her she also asks her mother why she is taking he picture of her father. Reyna mentions that when she was two years old her father left and went to "El Toro Lado" - the Other Side. She has no real memories of her father - only the picture that her mother is taking with her. When her mother tells her that her grandmother (whom she will be staying with) has plenty of pictures of her father her response is shocking. She says, "But this is my Papi." Reyna had no real memories of her father and she had only ever seen the one photo of him. Because of this, she was convinced that the actual photo was her father. This was her only real connection with her father. This statement took me back and really hurt me deep down. To think that before she was probably even old enough to realize it El Toro Lado had already scarred this poor little girl.
When I read this I tried to put myself in Reyna's shoes - what does she think of her father? Does she fully understand what he is doing or where he has gone? It is easy for us to look at the situation and see what he is trying to do and that what he is doing as far as we know at this point is for the good of the ones he loves. But does Reyna see that his intent is to make a better life for her and her family? All Reyna probably knows is that her father is not there. He hasn't been - at least not that she can remember. I think Reyna also sees a little bit of what it has done to her mother who remains faithful and hopeful that he will one day be back for them. The only thing I see that Reyna knows for certain is that her father is not there and now her mother will not be there. Her view of El Otro Lado - the Other Side - is probably a very tainted and scary one at this point in her life. To Reyna it takes things away It takes people away. Not many people in our culture have to grow up under the circumstances we see Reyna dealing with as a 4 year old.

Immigration Struggles

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance between Us: A Memoir. New York, NY: Washington Square Press. 

One thing that the book shows is how difficult it can be when a Mexican citizen tries to immigrate to the United States. This is not pointed out blatantly in the book but it can most certainly be inferred. The move to the United States for Reyna’s father not only affected him, but it also affected Reyna, her siblings, and her mother. It affected Reyna because she was forced to go live with her grandmothers who, as previously mentioned, neglected her and her siblings. This ultimately affected her attitude and mood. This same affect was also present in Reyna’s siblings. Reyna’s mother was affected by the move because her husband ended up finding another woman. Of course, anybody would be upset if their husband sets off on a journey to make a better life for his family but ends up finding another person instead. On that note, it also affected Reyna’s father. It caused him to fall out of love with his wife. It more than likely caused some stress from trying to get the rest of his family across with him (if he even cared, that is).
Overall, this book did show the struggles that a family can actually go through if one of the members decides that they want to pack up and immigrate to another country in search of a better life.

Dentist's Anesthesia

Grande, R. (2013).   The distance between us. New York:   Washington Square Press. p. 182-186

 













In this chapter, the scene that stood out the most to me was the dentist office. It starts off with the office calling Reyna out of class because her mother has come. Her excitement makes the disappointment so much harsher when she realizes they meant her step mom Mila. However, once she is in the dentist and has to pretend to be Mila's biological child, we see a yearning for that mother daughter connection as Reyna wishes she could really become Cindy. Reyna seems to have very low self esteem and see all the other women as prettier than her, especially Cindy. She doesn't understand how Mila cannot be the mother that she so craves. Jealous of Cindy, who doesn't even treat her own mother well, Mila gives in to the anesthesia from the dentist and calls Mila "Mami Mila". She was able to overcome her fear of being rejected to reach out to this woman who could fulfill the whole her own mother left when she remarried. Despite this brave attempt, she is instantly rejected by Mila and is told that she is not allowed to call her mami. Abandoned by two mothers, Reyna's world starts to fall apart. The strength she needs to bounce back from this will be tremendous.

Family Matters

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance between Us: A Memoir. New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

There is another central theme in “The Distance Between Us” and that is, family matters. That meaning that the bond between a family can either make or break a person. In Reyna’s case, she is almost always surrounded by family turmoil. For starters, she goes to live with her grandmothers who neglect her and her siblings. This neglect goes on to show how it can affect a young child when Reyna’s mood and attitude starts to change. This goes on for eight long years until she finally gets to move to the United States with her mother and father.

Speaking of her mother and father, their relationship also caused some problems. While Reyna’s father was in the United States, he ended up divorcing her mother because he found somebody new. There are numerous examples of how a divorce can affect a young child. This was the last thing that young Reyna needed in her life. This story demonstrates why family is so important in a person’s life. Not just any family though, it takes a strong family.

Mami and Papi

Grande, R. (2013).   The distance between us. New York:   Washington Square Press. p. 103-107

 












In this chapter Reyna and the children ask their abuelita about their parents. They first ask about their Papi, but they recieve an answer from Mago: The story of the feast of the Wise Men. One special memory she has of her Papi is when he came home late and brought them presents for the feast day. The children equate him with a knight who will come back from the other side to bring them presents and save them from poverty. If he went to the other side, he must be as wealthy as them and will eventually come back to share that wealth with them. That hope is the only thing that remains of their Papi; that and Mago's memory of the Feast of the Wise Men. This memory sharply contrasts with the memory that is told of their Mami as a young girl: Her bravely facing a wild donkey determined to tame and ride it. Their parents are idealized in the children's minds because anything else would be too hard to imagine. The father will bring home the gifts, and the mother will come and protect them from all danger. I think this section is beautiful, but like the rest of the memoir, it has a sadness that won't quite leave.  

The Other Side

Grande, R. (2013).   The distance between us. New York:   Washington Square Press. p. 46-49.

In Reyna Grande's The distance between us, we are able to see a piece of life in Mexico from a first person point of view: Reyna's own experiences. One of the things that stood out to me in the beginning of her memoir was the poverty that she and her family struggled with. Though they had some money, (barely enough for school), they were proud of who they were and where they came from. Two moments stood out to me especially: one, the moment when the children stare in awe at the dollar bills, and two, the moment Reyna and the others stand straighter as their flag passes by them during the singing of their national anthem at school. Though Reyna is just in 1st grade at this point in life, the fact that she and the other children have not seen money before is a bit of a culture shock. The idea of "money trees" on the "other side" doesn't seem that far off when thinking about the differences in wealth between these two countries. Also, when the children are singing their national anthem and we learn that Mago told Reyna about the history of Iguala, I was both happy and sad when Reyna stood taller to show her pride in her city. She was proud of the fact that she was from the place that drafted the treaty for the Mexican War of Independence, as well she should be. However, I was sad because of her innocence as a child; the ugliness of discrimination and selfishness of adults and governments had not touched her yet, and she was yet unaware of the vast differences between Mexico and America. She may know that "the other side" is a different place, but the unfairness of it all had not occurred to her yet. In retrospective, Reyna's story touches more hearts because she tells her ENTIRE story, from the beginning when she was a child and still experiencing the distance between countries.  

Counting My Blessings

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance between Us: A Memoir. New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

In this memoir, we see a great example of maturing from a young girl to an independent woman. Reyna had to learn how to grow up and make adult decisions without her parents. Now, of course, she got left with her grandmother but she was no help on account that she neglected Reyna and her older siblings. Her mother and father left Mexico to go the United States when she was just 8 years old. Children that age need a father, but she unfortunately did not have that in her life. However, the coming together of her with her older siblings helped her to mature and grow into a mature woman.

When Reyna finally moves to the United States with her mother and father, she is finally able to get a good education for herself and finds solace in reading and writing, so at least there is a happy ending. When you stop and think about it, it is really crazy to imagine having to grow up without your parents to teach you important life lessons and basic life necessities. Can you imagine learning how to cook on your own, wash your clothes, cope with stress, or any other trial that life can throw at you without the wisdom and guidance of your parents? In Reyna’s case, you throw a life on poverty on top of that and you have a situation where the vast majority of people would fail in life. However, Reyna was different. She was able to overcome all the hardships and that is something that she can be proud of for the rest of her life. 

La Distancia al Otro Lado (The Distance to the Other Side)

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance between Us: A Memoir. (pp. 1-54). New York, NY: Washington Square Press.

My expectation was that this story would explain the diversity of the places that Reyna and her family were a part of from the perspective of someone who grew up in another country.  I also assumed that this book would give a larger understanding of what Mexico was like through the eyes of someone who grew up there.  Another of my expectations is that I would learn what it is like for immigrant who wish to enter this country and how immigration affects the people who come to this country, for better or for worse.

The book begins with an explanation of the stories that Reyna’s grandmothers would tell her as a child, about a creature called La Llorona that would steal children away if they don’t behave, but then Reyna explains to her readers that there was something far more powerful called El Otro Lado that would take parents, instead (pp. 3-4).  El Otro Lado is explained to mean “The Other Side” and told by Reyna that this was the term for the United States which took many parents away from their kids.  Reyna continues by giving the readers of her book a glimpse into what it was like to grow up as a child in Mexico. 

One of the items that I found the most interesting in this section of the book is on pages 52-54.  On the previous page Reyna and her two siblings see a young boy drop his mango and walk off and leave it on the ground.  Reyna’s sister didn’t have a problem picking it up and eating it but she didn’t want to be seen doing it so Mago tells Reyna to go get it and when she says no that it has been kissed by the devil, Mago states that it is just tales told by their grandmother.  After Reyna’s siblings go back into the school, she begins to question whether the devil is real or not and if the devil is not real then that means that she is not evil.  She then proceeds to take a bite out of the mango that had been on the ground, and once she realized that nothing bad had happened, she goes back to class and picks up her pencil in her left hand.

I believe that this is one of the most important parts of this section of the book because it establishes the views of the culture that Reyna was a part of and it shows the want that she has to be herself.  The cultural view of the society was that left handed people are evil if they use their left hand and they should be punished if they do.  The left handed are expected to conform to the social norms and they are expected to change so they can fit in.  Reyna however wants to be herself and in this section she takes a great risk and is punished for it, but she what she feels is right for her no matter the punishment that she will endure.  

Overall, this section of the book is an explanation of the past that seems to push the book in the direction of her inevitable arrival in America.